Life is Crazy

It sure is...
Getting here was half the battle, but I'm back. I've got 2+ weeks of awesome blog material stored in my head, and jotted on tiny scraps of paper kicking about. My harsh neglect may or may not have gone unnoticed, but lucky you (someone must read this shit...) I plan to tell you all about it tonight. Well not all of it of course, because that could go on for days. Hmmm...where to start, how about the beginning?
Shit, where did that beginning go...this won't work, I'm confusing myself. How about I start with what to do for this year's winter activity. I like to take up something new during the long, hard Saskatchewan winter months, it helps, trust me. I have found 3 options that are all very appealing, and right here in my neighborhood. You'll never believe this but, one of the community associations around here are offering "Strippercise", yep that's what I said, "strippercise." What sounds more fun than this folks? Anyone else interested, hmmm, girls? The only thing freaking me out about option #1 is the thought of a bunch of neighborhood women writhing around on poles and the ground, dancing around. Anybody can sign up, I'll leave it at that. Option #2 is yoga. I've never taken a formal class, so this is also a fine option. It would be relaxing and serene. Which leads us to option #3...judo. Now this is nothing like yoga, or strippercise either for that matter. I could use an agressive romping, good for fun, fitness and power. This is the one I am leaning on, as it's probably the only one that would help me gain upper body strength, which I use a lot at work. Lugging bodies around requires serious strength. I don't know, the problem is that all 3 together would be an excellent way to quickly get into shape, and have fun while doing so. Too much time and money though. Too bad, I'll have to choose. Any suggestions? (This is the part where you consider it, " hmmm...I haven't commented on Jenn's blog for soooo long, maybe never even..."
Okay then, that took entirely way too long, and I could have said more. But I like to hold the readers attention by switching it up a little, you know, fuckin with ya. Things are crazy around here, life has been a whirlwind of exams and Christmas concerts, and chaos of crappy cars, and trying to plan a million details with a head already full of sociology and jurisprudence and threesomes, oh wait, that was a movie... Blah, so there, I summed it all up. There you have it, wait...I'm not done. One more thing, does anybody want to get together to make music? As I am once again coming into my own skin, this is something that needs to be reckoned with, I'm sick of pulling karaoke as a lame attempt at being a rock star. You can reach me at calamity74@shaw.ca So be there or be square
I have a computer final tomorrow, but it's kind of dumb studying. It's that kind of easy. I didn't study for the last one and walked away with a 96% final grade. Yeehaw! Rock and Roll, Merry Christmas (in case I don't come back before then), and nevermind, goodbye

Fact:

An egg in the microwave will explode before it soft boils.
I just learned this the hard way, but I'm glad I'm feeling wonky and this is really damn funny to me right now. Best of all, it had the nerve to do it while I was watching. Too fuckin funny.

It's 3 am I must be...something

Sometimes life is just refreshing. Sometimes all it takes to appreciate winter in Saskatchewan is to get drunk and partake in it in an unbiased, fuzzy-headed way. Or maybe it just warmed up enough that with the bright/fuzzy moonlight, you realize that this is your home and moving to the ocean won't be the same, but that you think your kids deserve to know the difference and maybe so do you, so you still plan to.

Snoo~oo~oo~oo~oop

The tickets arrived in the mail today, i'm excited. Something to look foward to here in the dead of winter. There's more freakin snow than anyone knows what to do with.
My neighbor, Dwain came over and we smoked a little, drank PC "New Wave" cola, and played with the Wii. Pretty cool machine, it is indeed. I love the way our culture has gotten kids of all ages hooked on video games, and has finally thought of a way to combat the effects. The Wii is totally interactive, in fact, my arm and shoulder are aching. WE played bowling, baseball, and boxing. Then I did a fitness test, apparantly I am 37 Wii years, hmmm...maybe if I had a gotten off the couch?
The school work's getting pretty heavy these days, no more fuckin the dogg. (pun fully intended) Speaking of which, I think Snoop is kinda hot, in a schmarmy gangster kind of way. It's Jessie's 17th birthday come groundhogs day, thought a little Snoop would make a nice gift. He's a pretty lucky little bastard, considering the shit he doles out...I'd say. And too bad for me that I have to drive and chaperone, cause man...anyways.
2 weeks
2 midterms
2 finals
Cause you know what they say right? Good things always come in twos.

I want a Ben Harper for Christmas

Finally...Spring

I love spring in November, it really makes a Saskatchewan winter feel short.
What a beautiful day for a highway drive...music up, windows down, cigarettes and water by my side, singing my buggered little heart out all the home, wee wee wee.
Just in the process of avoiding studying for a sociology exam tomorrow. Hmmm...says Freud, does this have anything to do with your repressed childhood desires? Yeah, maybe...

Transformation

I feel different to me. When I look in the mirror, I look different as well.
My skin no longer feels like my own, my body a stranger in my own home.
Is this another milestone of life, unrecognizable to self?
Wanting to emerge a beautiful version of a self I once loved, but fearing the self-inflicted damage I've done. Can it be undone? Can something better than ever grow from this heap of mold?
It's strange to feel unwanted and alone. Where do I begin to reach for what I need to fill the space...
It's not about self-loathing or hate, it's about spending too much time alone with your head.

Desperate times call for Desperate measures...or so it seems

I've been wanting to say that all week.We can call it the "order of the month".
It could be my accusingly hipocritical sense of judgement, mixed with a little pinch of rejection, thrown in with a little sitting at home getting drunk alone, and there you have it. The perfect recipe...
Getting drunk at home, alone? You say...well yes I reply, because it seems like most of the people who are/were in my life, all talk about it like it's a perfectly normal, acceptable thing to do. It's hard to get over the nagging voice that tells me it's not ok, that it's a sign of addiction. I tend you associate alcohol with people, and having fun. I guess you could call it a social habit. It feels weird but ok. I watched a movie too, and once I got past the language interpretation part of it, I quite enjoyed it.
It was called Intermission, It held my interest. You could say I liked it.

Such a need for adult contact, and foiled at every bend. I'm trying to make new friends, but thus far it doesn't compensate for the loss of the old ones. It's funny, one of my new classes is sociology, and It's causing me to think about my fucked up state of social isolation. It happens so gradually that you don't really feel it until you really have to face it, then you can't ignore it. Or is this just a natural part of getting older and knowing what you want and don't want? Or think this is what you need at this moment?
I pulled out my camera tonight and took some self portraits...fuck do I ever look like my mother in one of em', I deleted it. I haven't had the camera out in a long time. I took one of myself that I really wanted to post here, too bad my USB ports are shoved deep into the face of my computer again. I thought of it the other day, and named it, "shot block", you gotta hate that one.
Anyways, thats the scoop for now and now after 3 1/2 beers, I must depart. But I leave you with this...My favorite song line of the week...
"I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tatoo"
(Yeah, it's been a Billy Braggish sort of few days)

Everyone needs an ******, right Fred?

I feel good, although I wonder if it's a faux pas to smell the roses.
It's been a absolute blast of a week...I love what I've been doing, and through it I'm feeling stronger and taller and smarter than I have in a long time.
The beauty is sliding into somewhere that you have always suspected you should be, and finding you fit exactly how you thought you should. I'm going to try and get myself a position on the payroll, because I think I am exactly what they need right now.
We'll see tomorrow...I had the day off today, and spent it cleaning and rearranging my house. And a bit of shopping of course, because we all know the best time to shop is when you are feeling awesome about yourself. That's when you find the best stuff.
One more day at the funeral home, it's too sad to think of not going back until February. I'm lucky I already have some of my classes, because it sure lightens the load, AND ahem, that makes me even perfecter for the job.

Oh What a Great Day it was

I think I will dress up as a funeral director for work tomorrow....ha ha ha, no choice but to. Probably better than some creepy costume that would scare people, right?
a funeral on halloween day?
Yes, indeed. And what a blustery day it was.

Oh the ache in my gut, it grows stronger day by day.
How can wanting something so bad make you so damn mental?
Moved beds and shopped for doors until the cows came home today. The pisser of it all is when I finally got myself pumped enough to put the new one together, all the hardware was missing. So now I have no bed to sleep in, even though I got a new bed. The basements still in shambles, the drum kits not set up, I wanted to go for a drive or sing songs or something tonight. But I didn't...
Day 2 of being single, even though I saw him today. He brought me 18 pil for setting up his computer and installing some shit...good deal I thought. I made him take the last of his shit and give back my key, now I feel better. It's been a good few days of trades. Traded a photo for some squash, traded a smoke for a lighter, traded a ride for a bud and traded a pack of smokes for help with moving shit. Good stuff.
Got some damn good news in the mail yesterday; an excellent placement for my practicums, a 92% on my psych exam, and a 40/40 on my final computer assignment. Not only that but I handed in a kick-ass essay all about me and why I want to be a funeral director and embalmer. Sometimes you can't help but feel like you are doing something right.

And what a day it's been...

It's been awhile again. I often think of things I should post on my lonely blog, but what can I say, I've been totally uninspired lately. Things are looking up though, I know, I 've been thinking that for too long, but there really is a light at the end somewhere. I'm really almost single, although I have been mentally for months. It's so time to put this baby to bed, it's tired and ready.
My ftp is messed up, so no pics tonight. My brain is exhausted from too much school today, my heart is craving something that I cannot reach, and I woke up today looking like my mother. I have a million piles of shit to move around and out of my house this weekend, I finally changed the water in my fish tank (now that there was a casualty), and I can't wait to get the demon out of my bed so I can finally change the sheets. I know I shouldn't start something new until I finish with the old, but what if the new is actually the old and the new old well, just needs to go away? I wonder about that, is it deceitful? Is it wrong to not want what you have and crave what you don't have? I read something the other day about not wallowing in your own muck; bring it out, deal with it and leave it be...guilt will only cause you grief.
I wanted to add the photo of my new drum kit, but oh well, maybe some other week.

another sunday night

Oh and what a week it's been. My first day of school on tuesday was awesome fun, if you're sick enough to see it that way too. Thought it would all be boring classroom stuff but it entailed way more than that. From pushing a body bagged stretcher through the halls to the simlulated funeral including hearse and all to the cemetary for practise with burial, wow what fun. I'm so excited about all this, it feels like I've been waiting most of my life for this to happen. Finally, time to get shit moving in the right direction here. And speaking of which, kid 1 left home today (again), thats one pain in the ass eliminated, one more to go. I hope I found our new house, and can't wait for it to just be the 3 of us, moving foward beautifully. I've hit a point, I need the peace and space NOW.
So Storm got kicked of of rockstar supernova this week, and I got emotional. Not like I was ever her biggest fan, but her original song lst week kicked ass, impressed the shit right oughta me. I always figured it would come down to Toby, Magni and Dilana anyways. My hairdresser thinks Lucas is going to win, but I think she only likes him cause he has a baby face and cool hair, not great lung capacity.
Yep, so here I am, wanting to move, wanting to be single, and wanting a new car, We'll see how the week goes...

The New Bicycle

Hailey got a new bike for his 12th birthday, and here it is. I was so excited for him to go to school today so I could take it for a spin (guilt-free). So I get all ready, and go to walk out the door with this smashing new bike, and it's fucking raining...WAHH

It's not easy being fat

Although it did seem rather easy getting that way.

Can it be blamed on the very thing that brings you this blog, or is it life after 30 combined with inactivity? Either way, it doesn't matter. The point is that it is really easy to gain weight, but really damn hard to lose and maintain it. I have figured out a few personal weaknesses though, and if only I could quit em, I'm convinced all would be well.
#1. Beer (yes I love it damnit, and no other alcoholic bev can take its place)
#2. Bread
#3. Potatoes
Proving I guess that you can take the girl off the farm, but you can't take the farm off the girls ass. ha ha ha ha ha ha

Photo courtesy of Leonard Nimoy Photography (yeah, spocks a photographer too!)

A Year in the Life - A Summary

Lisa is dead.
Nate's fucked.
Mya has no mother.
Claire had an abortion.
Ruth got remarried.
David and Keith broke up.
Brenda is celibate and clean.
And Rico, well last I saw of him he was getting a hummer from a stripper in his car.
Wow, it left me feeling quite emotional, how can I not run out and rent the entire 4th season? I began at the beginning, watching every episode, in order, one after the other. What a great fucking show it is.....
Oh yeah and Billy is in love with Brenda



Random thought of yesterday....Ladies, always wear a bra whilst cutting the grass, because you never know who's watching.

Close to Home

The ARIES March 21 - April 19
Adventurous, Energetic, Pioneering, Courageous, Enthusiastic, Confident, Dynamic and Quick-Witted
Selfish, Quick-Tempered, Impulsive, Impatient, Foolhardy and a bit of a Daredevil
Arians see themselves as consummate leaders. While they are excellent at initiating and overseeing projects, don't rely on them to be down in the pits actually getting the work done. Arians are not afraid of being on the cutting edge of things. Energetic Arians love the opportunities and challenges each new day brings.

Arians are blunt and outspoken--often to the point that more sensitive souls around them will become alienated. Arians are intrepid and aggressive. When needed, they can almost always muster the inner-strength to face any challenge. Always competitive, Arians never lose sight of what is in their best interest.

Arians are often inclined to be egotistical and domineering. They much prefer action to allowing things to settle on their own. They are never afraid to take chances or follow their impulses. When their actions fail to produce the expected results, they still pride themselves on at least trying. They love exploring new ground. Indeed they expect to be first to go anywhere new. While Arians may not be for everyone, their courage and willingness to initiate action make them an asset to any team project.

HOT BUCK DOE LURE

Yeah, so apparantly all it takes to lure me into a potentially precarious situation, is the scent of having a real house. I know this is not ideal. "A house" you may say, well that seems riduculous, and you'd probably be right. So after 3 days of near silence and isolation, I have come up with a possible solution to the dilemna. "Why not just get a freaking house then?", I says to myself (remember...isolation) Wait a minute, wait a minute, let's just back this up a wee bit. I've recently become aware of something I'd like to name "THE 30'S PANIC". You know, the one where all of a sudden you feel the need to get married and reproduce. Driven sometimes by the threat of non-reproduction, or in other cases, proving to yourself, family, friends, co-workers etc. that you are actully worth something because you are married/stable/settled down/whatthefuckever/worthy of love....So I realize yesterday, is there a valid reason for me to panic, and settle for a miserable life in exchange for the status of having a husband/house/all that crap etc? Hell no, not really! I already have my kids and don't want any more. I have a career path on the horizon. What I want is a fucking house and a satisfying career, not a world of eggshells. See how it all ties in?
Moral of the story....don't put all your eggs in one bastard, ok dear?
Well anyways it's friday night, I think I'll go scrape some boogers off the wall or something, yep, it's exciting alright.....

Oh the thinks you can think

BLOGGERS BLOCK..... or is it something else?

Ummm...Chocolate

Nice Idea But...

Damn, the poor teacher that thought this plant was a good idea for this planter...ha ha ha ha ha. Needless to say, they did remove the cacti and planted ivy in it's place before they were sent home to the parents.

Jesus Christ

And yes I know I've been a total lame-o lately when it comes to posting on this here blog. It's not that I've been uninspired, well not really, physically yes, mentally no. It's just that I have so much shit floating around in my head that it often overwhelms me to a point of complete nothingness. How can that be you wonder...yeah, it's all about the ability to harness what I am capable of creating. Life is confusing, full of fastballs. Forget to duck and you are fucked, smack, hit in the noggin.


Favorite joke of the week---what's invisible and smells like carrots?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bunny farts (thanks Simone)

Favorite lyric of the week--We're in a room without a door, and I am sure without
a doubt, they're gonna wanna know how we got in here, and they're gonna wanna know how we plan to get out. (thanks Ani)

It's the Darndest Thing

So I've been attending some motivational type classes this week, a program based on the workings of a man named Lou Tice. We watch video's of Lou giving lessons on how to alter the subconscious mind, how to make life changing self- affirmations of how to be all you can be and more. Funny thing is though, is that this man not only looks like W.C. Fields, but his voice and mannerisms mirror the legendary funnyman to a point that makes it hard not to laugh. It's ok though, the facilitators still seem to adore me, in fact, one of them laughs jovially at most of my quarky outbursts. It's kind of fun. The catered lunches and snacks and beverages have been fabulous, definately worth being dressed all day for. "Stay tuned, there's more to come." (Lou Tice, 2006)

Just Another Wacky Sunday

Today has been one of those days...it started out rough, real rough. Rough to the point of wanting to vomit just to feel better kind of rough. I awoke at 8 am with a headache so screaming bad I couldn't even stand to lay on it, so I got up, in search of advil and water. Aaahh, the good ol' hangover cure, normally. However, today was not a normal hangover kind of day. I went back to bed and laid there holding my aching head in my hands until about 10, then decided to try getting up one more time, still sporting a filthy headache. I made coffee, but couldn't stand the smell of it, or anything else for that matter. I was utterly naseous, wanting to puke, wanting to die, something to end the misery. So anyways, I ended up taking 2 or 3 more advil and crawling back into bed. Finally I was able to get some sleep, I slept beautifully until 1 in the afternoon. For those of you who know me well, you would know that this is no easy feat for me, I'm always up by 10 for sure. Oh what a night is all I'm going to say about that, even though the night seemed pretty mellow at the time.
Weirdness event number 2...The police showing up at my house stating that someone had called 911 from my house and hung up. Now this could happen, it's not unheard of, but, at the time of the call I just happened to be on the phone with Nicki. I looked at the timer and we had been talking for 22 minutes, when the cop radioed in to find out the time of the call, it happened while we were talking. We all just decided it was some weird cordless phone thing and they left.
Regardless of the strange day and feeling like crap for most of it, I still managed to get quite a lot done. About 8 loads of laundry, a mega load of dishes and getting the kids ready for morning. Maybe because I skipped volleyball I felt I had to compensate for the lack of activity, who knows, but it's all good.
I got a new coffee maker!!!! Finally, it's been broken for 9 days, I've been making cowboy coffee with a funnel all week, yuck. Tomorrow is looking good, simple, easy delicious coffee, a class downtown called "Thought Patterns for a Successful Career", how nice. Maybe it will help me find the motivation to get a job or something, anyways, it's a new week, a new outlook on life, and a new cup of coffee. Yay.

random thoughts for a wednesday part 2 (and yeah, I know it's Friday)

I just opened an old drawer and found some of the strangest items. I call it an old drawer and it's in an old dresser, but let me explain. It's a dresser that used to be in my bedroom, then I moved it to Jessie's empty room, and I did clean out all my underused underwear, but I didn't clean out the top drawer. It's a salute to my organizational good intentions (similar to the road to hell), and lost in time are the many necesary objects that would in fact, allow me to procede with being a more organized individual. In the drawer I found some of those little clips that you attach to the wall in order to hang a mirror, not just one pack, but two. I must have really intended to hang that damn mirror, that maybe or I just wasn't happy with my first selection and therefore went out and got more. I also saw a poncho in a pack, about 4" by 4", handy. There's a whole bunch of other crap too, but I'll save you the details. On to the next random thought...
In my basement there are a bunch of teenage boys, at least 5, but maybe 6. They are all under 19, ranging from 15-17, and they are fucked up. They are currently listening to a really cool version of "Get Back", but its done by Ludacris and Sum 41, way cool. They are really loud and obnoxious, especially Jessie, who is at the moment(I can tell by the sounds) wearing a hat, aviator glasses, and redneck teeth. There is lots of coughing and male type bragging going on. Teenage boys are weird to me. They were also surprised when I answered the knock at the door, perhaps, I said to them, you were expecting someone else? Their instant silence gave them away.
Today at the library I got the ultimate Johnny Cash book, it looks great, can't wait to read it. So why don't I go crawl into bed and read it then you ask, well, because I don't want to, so there.
I'm frustrated by my choice of who I had children with. Remember ladies, be careful who you breed with, you are going to have to put up with that shit for the rest of your life.
On a lighter note, it's Friday night, St. Patrick's day even, and here I am, posting the year's longest bloggish gibberish, well good then, I'm not Irish.

Oh What a Diverse Weekend

Slip-Per-Eey

Holy shit, welcome to Saskatchewan. Driving home tonight, after spending some time with birthday girl Samantha, holy shit is it crazy out there. Never mind that in the last week we've gotten about 4 feet of snow, but tonight it's -7 degrees and raining, yes I said raining. All the ABS's better be on their toes in the AM folks, because it's insane driving. That, coming from me must sound incredulous, for as we all know I love to drive, and can handle the worst of the worst driving situations. No, I guess it wasn't slippery enough out there, lets add some freezing rain to shake things up a bit.
And never mind that Sam and I just polished off 2 bottles of South African red wine, hers, the cabernet sauvignon, and mine the Shiraz...just never mind that part. The point is, is that it's insane on the prairies and there ain't nothing we can do to stop it. And never mind Nicola's gloating of Alberta, or Ian's insane wishes that we up and move there to "get the family together." Oye yoi yoi, what's a girl to do? And it doesn't help that the fella that currently is making my world tip on it's side lives on a highway drive somewhere that really doesn't conform to the rules of nature these days, these insane days of way too much fucking snow, and freezing rain all in the same week.....crap.

Double Whammy Anal Hairball

Yeah so I promised Nicki I would post about this so here I am, at 3:32 am on a Saturday night, talking about anal hairballs. Allow me to elaborate...you know when you are in the shower, and washing your hair? Well for me it's when I condition, but we lose hair and I don't know if it's the bubble butt, but hair tends to gather in the buttcrack. Well, as I was telling Nicki earlier, tonight I pulled out 2 that were quite momentous...Usually there is only 1, and it's usually the biggest chunk of hair stuck to the shower wall. But tonight there were 2 giant chunks of hair, and that in itself is worth mentioning.
Never mind Stan's Place with the country band and running into Bonnie & Gord and Shelley, or going to Kelly's and playing the role of mediator between the 20 year olds and drinking and smoking till the wee hours. It's all about the double anal hairball, which I wanted to name something perenial, as in stuck in the perenium, but Nicki thought that wasn't quite as funny. Oh well, I dedicate this one to anyone thats ever admitted to picking fallen hair out of their asscrack while in the shower, cheers.

The Big Day

Well here it is...

Brokeback Mountain

Sam and I went to see this movie last night....it's all about 2 gay cowboys and their relationship through the 60s thru the 80s. It's a tale of forbidden love and not being a "queer" cowboy. It was good but a little sad, it made Sam cry a few times, possibly because she can relate to the forbidden love. Surely not because she is a gay cowboy disguised as a beautiful woman...

To Hell With Em All

Poor little bunny, too bad he's a spineless little wimp.

Why do I prefer torture over sweet, healthy, loving relationships? I tend to go out of my way to find them, choosing them over anyone that seems too nice. Why take a chance on a "nice guy" when there are thousands of raging assholes to choose from? I've never liked the "nice guy", they never last more than a week in my life. The only explanation I can come up with is that I must enjoy the torture to some extent. I seem to thrive off it, even though it causes much pain and misery. It's like I can't be happy unless I am miserable, what the fuck is up with that? I get bored with "nice guys", they just don't rock the boat enough. Well, I'm in the water again, trying to stay afloat, wishing I would have worn a life jacket on this trip. Thinking maybe next time I make an attempt at trying to fall in love with a loaded gun, I'll just shoot myself in the head first.

Fuck

Nothing like an emotional jilt to remind you you're alive.
But that's what I get for allowing myself to feel too much too soon,
and with a gemini male of all things,
have I not already learned that lesson, twice?

Feeling set up to take a mighty fall
for all the men who've ever been shafted by a girl
You're indifference disturbs me
the silence harsh like a siren in the night

It's a game that we're just playing, like kittens he says,
like chasing a ball on the rebound off the wall
Turns out I'm not that playful after all.

You sleep next to me but dream of the girl next door
Fuck

Or Maybe...

Happy Valentines Day

This one's for you Valentine!

Wild Woman Says...

Quote of the day from my "wild words from wild women" desktop calender......."When the sun comes up, I have morals again." -Elizabeth Taylor, living legend

Somehow, I can relate.

Ha! That's Funny!

Hipster cards has done it again, they rock, and hard. For all you Valentine, late Birthday, or Lesbian card needs, they've got it all. Though I've been ill and haven't felt like bothering with my blog, I couldn't resist this one. So go check it out, honestly, its the best online card company I've ever seen. Hipstercards.com

Eeeewwww Lovely

Nothing better than a relaxing Sunday, unless you find lice in one of your kids hair. I know that was my idea of good family fun.. ripping the house apart, changing all the bedding, washing all the outerwear, making sure there were clean blankets so everyone could go to bed, and doing the stinky shampoo treatment. Yep, we sure bonded like crazy over this one, if fact I seem to recall such slogans as, if you don't want to get snapped at, then don't come near me. I was a superpowered cleaning, disinfecting machine, and have the raw hands to prove it. Good thing Sunday's horoscope suggested I take a break from trying to conquer the world. Fotunately by 3am I was almost done, but by then it was too late to vaccuum, so the madness continues today. Good thing I love a mountain of laundry, cause I was feeling so empty almost seeing the floor down there.....the worst of it is, while ranting to Jessie about where the hell it could have came from, he decided to fill me in on a little bit of knowledge him and Shawneen were packing. Shawneen's little sister has lice "all the time", she gets it from her boyfriends house, who apparantly also have it "all the time"...like I needed more of a reason to feel pissy towards her seemingly useless family, GRRRRRR.I fell a little better now though so I best get back to work, wow thank God for that 4 hours of sleep, ot I'd probably be in a really shitty mood right now.

yummmmmmmy combo's

Gin & Tonic and bagels & cream cheese, possibly two of the best combo's available to mankind...and I am blessed with both right now, yummy.

Happy Birthday Boy!

Yes, this is it...I think this officially makes me an old woman. My eldest son turns 16 years old today, wow, that's old. How the hell did that even happen, I mean I have been around but it's like a time warp or something. So we had a great day, just him and I for most of it. We went for noodle bowls at norms, then on to the stop of the day...My old pals, Pat and Graeme Burke's tattoo shop, Rites of Passage and somehow convinced the two little sweetie's to do a tat for Jessie. The poor kid is shitting himself with excitement...a real tattoo!!! All that and it's a gift from his crazy mother, too bad he has to wait 3 weeks for it, but oh well. I'm excited too, because nothing says forever like a tattoo. He'll never forget his 16th birthday, that's for sure.

random thoughts for a wednesday

Part 1
Let the laundry marathon begin, 2 weeks+5 people=a mountain.
The White Stripes rock today.
Is there any point in trying to compete with an ultra orgasmic 18 year old?
The first song I am learning on guitar happens to be sympathy for the devil, not by choice really, it's just coming naturally.
I need a night out.
My shoulder hurts from volleyball sunday night, so much that i could hardly sleep last night.
I've had 4 different repairmen in my house this week, all of which were pretty good looking, which leads me to believe in the phrase, "desperate housewife".
I wish Johnny Cash was still alive.
I hate doing dishes, even with a fancy dishwasher.
Volleyball is harder on the body than i remember.
I hate that nobody but loving Nicola comments on my blog.
I am feeling a mixture of emotion, perplexion, and aggression.
I'm in the mood for afternoon beer and karaoke, not laundry and dishes.
16 years ago today i was in labour with my first born child.
I want to give that almost 16 year old a tattoo for his birthday, and i want one too.
I wish i could lose 50 pounds easily.
I am about to change my mindset with the aid of outside forces.

I want to play my guitar, but my left middle finger is already burning.
Che gave me that guitar about 6 years ago and it finally fells like mine, and i know i've been calling it a piece for years, but it's not, it's quite beautiful if you know how to play it...thank you Che, so much.
God i love music.
I've been having vivid dreams for days, thinking they are connected to the dark moon. The last full moon was dream time too.
Pj harvey may be the coolest woman musician ever.

Hottest Toy of the Year Award

For all the up-and-coming cool kids on the block.

Daisy Rock Rocks

So I just fell in love with a guitar...WOW. I found out about this company that is making guitars for women, really beautiful guitars. Some are kind of overdone but there is this one....The Venus AHHHHHH
What a great reason to learn how to play even sooner. I've finally begun the long, hard journey i've been procrastinating on for many years. So far i've got the tuning thing down, which was always my biggest excuse...so now, off I go. Go me! It seems like the big metamorphasis is finally beginning, next thing you know i'll actually go and get a job. That's mondays news though, so you'll have to wait. Oh yeah, and volleyball starts tomorrow night, whew, how will the ol' lungs like that one?

Thursday is a Great Night for Rockin Out

Yep, I know it's a bit of a cheesy thing, but I actually like Nickelback. And even better, they are playing here in Saskatoon tonight. I've seen them once before, took my son for his 14th birthday, damn near blew his young mind. He's pissed he's not coming to this one, but who wants to hang out with 3 cheesy old crazy ladies when you are 16 years old? He does.....Funny, on our way to Calgary this weekend we just happened to stop in Hanna Alberta, we had to stop. Simone noticed on the town sign that this was the home of Nickelback and she wasn't taking no for an answer. She was happy enough to just get gas and junk food, and that was that. BUT...on the way home we were listening to the radio and heard that Nickelback was playing in Calgary the next night. I could just see the wheels in her head turning and soon found out what she was plotting. After a short while she says, "there", and I ask "what"? She tells me she is all ready to stop in Hanna, and has a pen and paper in hand. She asks me what I would do if I saw them and I responded with,"I'd moon em, show em my big white ass, and smile of course." She was under the impression that because they were in Calgary, they may be stopping at home to see there families, which means that we may actually get to see them. She was so damn excited, and actually cried when I replied, "They are not going to be standing on a street corner in Hanna, waiting for us to drive by for an autograph." She actually cried, her poor little bubble was so bursted. But she's 9, and reality is large and nothing is impossible, right? Too bad we didn't see them, I would have liked the opportunity to moon them, and get an autograph for Simone...maybe "someday" (ha ha)
Boy I like to ramble in the morning.

Sunday's Card Polishes off the Week

So I just returned from a fabulous vacation in Calgary (whoopee, what a vacation you may say), and It was pretty much all good. Some highlights: Seeing my old friend Jody, who I haven't seen in about 3 years. Meeting Jody's baby Azaria, who was wonderful and beautiful. Ripping out a smoking hot version of "Proud Mary"(Ike & Tina style) at karaoke with Jody. A awesome night of drinkin beer, playing pool and singing karaoke with Jody and her boyfriend Dorian. Getting cracked for cigarettes in Airdrie on our way out of town (ha ha ha), funny cause I looked like a strung out junkie skid after a hardcore night of drinking and only 3 hours sleep(wearing a trans am bunnyhug and a touque) Some lowlights: spending 15 hours of a weekend in the car with my fighting kids, although we did have some fun on the way, singing and cracking jokes. But the ride home was pure hell...in the dark for 3 hours after 4 hours of driving, on 3 hours of sleep and a hangover. We made it back alive though, and to top it off, I am feeling a might inspired to get off my ass and do something productive until I can go back to school in September. WHOOHOOO for the refreshing roadtrip! And yeah, I love Jody, she's a superstar. And yeah, I am way overtired and overcaffienated, and can't seem to just shut the hell up...that's all...really.

Saturday's Cards are All About the Love

Just to give you all something to do while I am away...

Friday's Card is For the Dogs!

Yup, this is it, friday's card. A little premature maybe but that happens sometimes. Oh well, lets go on a road trip dudes!

Thursday's Card is for Nicola

This one I was saving for an exciting day, but I couldn't wait any longer.

Wednesday's Card is Really Early

In fact, even too early for breakfast in bed.

Tuesday's Card is a Little Late

Only because I couldn't get into any of my shaw crap because my passwords were all fucked up.

Monday's Card Explains Itself

Like I said earlier, it's card week in blog land. Do enjoy!

Oh the Agony

There's nothing worse than having to wait for the repercussions of my actions. I'm not much of a waiter even for simple things, never mind soul bearing, heart felt late night mumbo jumbo. Can I not just take anything slow and steady, why must I be so damn impatient?
And a big heads up, for this week is "Super Awesome Card Week" where I will be displaying some of the funniest, stupidest, coolest cards ever. Be sure to tune in often, as you won't want to miss this shit!

Poetry Anyone?

so Nicki says, "what the fuck's up with all the poetic words these days, your blog has always just been nasty and funny, impersonal shit." And true enough, it has. Thats not to say those are the only thoughts I have though, and like I said to her, the whole time I was with Dennis, I couldn't write a lick. This should have been a warning bell way back in the beginning, but at the time I was thinking of it differenty. I thought maybe, because he didn't inspire any emotionally tragic poetry, that maybe he was the one. I've missed this side of me, and find myself daydreaming in poetry whenever I am left alone with my thoughts. I always loved the ability to turn any emotional moment into written prose, it's a great form of expression. I always thought someday I would dig through all those old journals and have enough to actually publish a book of tragic poetry. Maybe now I can begin anew, starting fresh from this more mature place in my life. So say what you want, if it offends more than camel toes and big cocks, thats your opine and you can just quit reading this damn cheesy blog. Oh, and have a lovely snow-covered Sunday.

You seemed really nice, right off the bat
but nice can only take you so far.
When the nicieties wear off, we have nothing
if you can't stimulate the conversation.
I can't be content with just sitting,
feelings of boredom, mind whirling inside
This was not a "relationship", not even a friendship
just another failed attempt at connection.

But you didn't notice the look on my face
or that my brain was spinning with thought.
My words caught you off guard, like you thought
this had a chance going somewhere
but like everything else, it didn't cause a spark
it didn't even make you flinch.
You will never be happy until you learn to try new things
were my words of parting with you.
But like I said, who am I to judge, it's just a view.

I tried to warn you at the start
that I was not easily content.
I can't be satisfied by idle chat
nor lack of compliment.
I need to be amazed, to be made to think
to walk away feeling in a haze.
I need stimulation, to be called on my bullshit
to not be trapped a comfortable rut.
But what's a week or two, here and there
I feel like my work is done
I opened your ears to new sounds
that I hope will spur you along
then closed the door and walked away,
another job well done

Never mind then

Ok so the Russian bride was kinda lame, but....remember(if I told you that is) that I found out last Christmas that I was somewhat Russian and somehow that related in my brain at the time. Hmmm wonder if I could be a "Canadian Bride" and pimp myself out for "free evenings" wink wink, nudge nudge....hmmm where to choose?

So
I am missing school, not necessarily nursing classes, but learning in general. The brain gets a little moldy when not stimulated; combine that with physical inactivity and it's a recipe for disaster. On the upside though, I signed up for adult co-ed volleyball tonight that happens at the little school by my house, could be weird, might be fun, will be stimulating indeed. It starts sunday night, which is perfect because sunday nights are the most boringest, lonliest, longest nights of all...Sigh

Anyone interested in a Russian Bride?

I got this weirdness in my email today....

Hello have a good day,
I am not sure where to begin,it is first time I try to use internet to
meet the man but the thing is,that I will work abroad I can choice
USA,Canada or Europe and I would like to meet the man to share free
evenings and be my guide. My friends helped me to send a few letters
to different address and I do hope that I am lucky to meet good and
kind man.you should know that now I live in Russia and my goal is to leave this
country because it is impossible to live here for young pretty woman.they tell I look well
enough,I am blonde with blue eyes,I am natural blonde.I will send a few photos if you reply.
if you don't have wife nor girlfriend ,maybe we could try to meet?
I am free I have not children .and I have not boyfriend here.
I am 25 years old ,please write to me directly
to my mail- fruy1@pochta.ru See you soon ,with great hope.