Double Whammy Anal Hairball

Yeah so I promised Nicki I would post about this so here I am, at 3:32 am on a Saturday night, talking about anal hairballs. Allow me to elaborate...you know when you are in the shower, and washing your hair? Well for me it's when I condition, but we lose hair and I don't know if it's the bubble butt, but hair tends to gather in the buttcrack. Well, as I was telling Nicki earlier, tonight I pulled out 2 that were quite momentous...Usually there is only 1, and it's usually the biggest chunk of hair stuck to the shower wall. But tonight there were 2 giant chunks of hair, and that in itself is worth mentioning.
Never mind Stan's Place with the country band and running into Bonnie & Gord and Shelley, or going to Kelly's and playing the role of mediator between the 20 year olds and drinking and smoking till the wee hours. It's all about the double anal hairball, which I wanted to name something perenial, as in stuck in the perenium, but Nicki thought that wasn't quite as funny. Oh well, I dedicate this one to anyone thats ever admitted to picking fallen hair out of their asscrack while in the shower, cheers.

The Big Day

Well here it is...

Brokeback Mountain

Sam and I went to see this movie last night....it's all about 2 gay cowboys and their relationship through the 60s thru the 80s. It's a tale of forbidden love and not being a "queer" cowboy. It was good but a little sad, it made Sam cry a few times, possibly because she can relate to the forbidden love. Surely not because she is a gay cowboy disguised as a beautiful woman...

To Hell With Em All

Poor little bunny, too bad he's a spineless little wimp.

Why do I prefer torture over sweet, healthy, loving relationships? I tend to go out of my way to find them, choosing them over anyone that seems too nice. Why take a chance on a "nice guy" when there are thousands of raging assholes to choose from? I've never liked the "nice guy", they never last more than a week in my life. The only explanation I can come up with is that I must enjoy the torture to some extent. I seem to thrive off it, even though it causes much pain and misery. It's like I can't be happy unless I am miserable, what the fuck is up with that? I get bored with "nice guys", they just don't rock the boat enough. Well, I'm in the water again, trying to stay afloat, wishing I would have worn a life jacket on this trip. Thinking maybe next time I make an attempt at trying to fall in love with a loaded gun, I'll just shoot myself in the head first.

Fuck

Nothing like an emotional jilt to remind you you're alive.
But that's what I get for allowing myself to feel too much too soon,
and with a gemini male of all things,
have I not already learned that lesson, twice?

Feeling set up to take a mighty fall
for all the men who've ever been shafted by a girl
You're indifference disturbs me
the silence harsh like a siren in the night

It's a game that we're just playing, like kittens he says,
like chasing a ball on the rebound off the wall
Turns out I'm not that playful after all.

You sleep next to me but dream of the girl next door
Fuck

Or Maybe...

Happy Valentines Day

This one's for you Valentine!

Wild Woman Says...

Quote of the day from my "wild words from wild women" desktop calender......."When the sun comes up, I have morals again." -Elizabeth Taylor, living legend

Somehow, I can relate.

Ha! That's Funny!

Hipster cards has done it again, they rock, and hard. For all you Valentine, late Birthday, or Lesbian card needs, they've got it all. Though I've been ill and haven't felt like bothering with my blog, I couldn't resist this one. So go check it out, honestly, its the best online card company I've ever seen. Hipstercards.com

Eeeewwww Lovely

Nothing better than a relaxing Sunday, unless you find lice in one of your kids hair. I know that was my idea of good family fun.. ripping the house apart, changing all the bedding, washing all the outerwear, making sure there were clean blankets so everyone could go to bed, and doing the stinky shampoo treatment. Yep, we sure bonded like crazy over this one, if fact I seem to recall such slogans as, if you don't want to get snapped at, then don't come near me. I was a superpowered cleaning, disinfecting machine, and have the raw hands to prove it. Good thing Sunday's horoscope suggested I take a break from trying to conquer the world. Fotunately by 3am I was almost done, but by then it was too late to vaccuum, so the madness continues today. Good thing I love a mountain of laundry, cause I was feeling so empty almost seeing the floor down there.....the worst of it is, while ranting to Jessie about where the hell it could have came from, he decided to fill me in on a little bit of knowledge him and Shawneen were packing. Shawneen's little sister has lice "all the time", she gets it from her boyfriends house, who apparantly also have it "all the time"...like I needed more of a reason to feel pissy towards her seemingly useless family, GRRRRRR.I fell a little better now though so I best get back to work, wow thank God for that 4 hours of sleep, ot I'd probably be in a really shitty mood right now.

yummmmmmmy combo's

Gin & Tonic and bagels & cream cheese, possibly two of the best combo's available to mankind...and I am blessed with both right now, yummy.

Happy Birthday Boy!

Yes, this is it...I think this officially makes me an old woman. My eldest son turns 16 years old today, wow, that's old. How the hell did that even happen, I mean I have been around but it's like a time warp or something. So we had a great day, just him and I for most of it. We went for noodle bowls at norms, then on to the stop of the day...My old pals, Pat and Graeme Burke's tattoo shop, Rites of Passage and somehow convinced the two little sweetie's to do a tat for Jessie. The poor kid is shitting himself with excitement...a real tattoo!!! All that and it's a gift from his crazy mother, too bad he has to wait 3 weeks for it, but oh well. I'm excited too, because nothing says forever like a tattoo. He'll never forget his 16th birthday, that's for sure.

random thoughts for a wednesday

Part 1
Let the laundry marathon begin, 2 weeks+5 people=a mountain.
The White Stripes rock today.
Is there any point in trying to compete with an ultra orgasmic 18 year old?
The first song I am learning on guitar happens to be sympathy for the devil, not by choice really, it's just coming naturally.
I need a night out.
My shoulder hurts from volleyball sunday night, so much that i could hardly sleep last night.
I've had 4 different repairmen in my house this week, all of which were pretty good looking, which leads me to believe in the phrase, "desperate housewife".
I wish Johnny Cash was still alive.
I hate doing dishes, even with a fancy dishwasher.
Volleyball is harder on the body than i remember.
I hate that nobody but loving Nicola comments on my blog.
I am feeling a mixture of emotion, perplexion, and aggression.
I'm in the mood for afternoon beer and karaoke, not laundry and dishes.
16 years ago today i was in labour with my first born child.
I want to give that almost 16 year old a tattoo for his birthday, and i want one too.
I wish i could lose 50 pounds easily.
I am about to change my mindset with the aid of outside forces.

I want to play my guitar, but my left middle finger is already burning.
Che gave me that guitar about 6 years ago and it finally fells like mine, and i know i've been calling it a piece for years, but it's not, it's quite beautiful if you know how to play it...thank you Che, so much.
God i love music.
I've been having vivid dreams for days, thinking they are connected to the dark moon. The last full moon was dream time too.
Pj harvey may be the coolest woman musician ever.

Hottest Toy of the Year Award

For all the up-and-coming cool kids on the block.