Desperate times call for Desperate measures...or so it seems

I've been wanting to say that all week.We can call it the "order of the month".
It could be my accusingly hipocritical sense of judgement, mixed with a little pinch of rejection, thrown in with a little sitting at home getting drunk alone, and there you have it. The perfect recipe...
Getting drunk at home, alone? You say...well yes I reply, because it seems like most of the people who are/were in my life, all talk about it like it's a perfectly normal, acceptable thing to do. It's hard to get over the nagging voice that tells me it's not ok, that it's a sign of addiction. I tend you associate alcohol with people, and having fun. I guess you could call it a social habit. It feels weird but ok. I watched a movie too, and once I got past the language interpretation part of it, I quite enjoyed it.
It was called Intermission, It held my interest. You could say I liked it.

Such a need for adult contact, and foiled at every bend. I'm trying to make new friends, but thus far it doesn't compensate for the loss of the old ones. It's funny, one of my new classes is sociology, and It's causing me to think about my fucked up state of social isolation. It happens so gradually that you don't really feel it until you really have to face it, then you can't ignore it. Or is this just a natural part of getting older and knowing what you want and don't want? Or think this is what you need at this moment?
I pulled out my camera tonight and took some self portraits...fuck do I ever look like my mother in one of em', I deleted it. I haven't had the camera out in a long time. I took one of myself that I really wanted to post here, too bad my USB ports are shoved deep into the face of my computer again. I thought of it the other day, and named it, "shot block", you gotta hate that one.
Anyways, thats the scoop for now and now after 3 1/2 beers, I must depart. But I leave you with this...My favorite song line of the week...
"I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tatoo"
(Yeah, it's been a Billy Braggish sort of few days)